hm. i think i'm pretty much stuck with may 10 as my surgery date since my doctor needs to do it on a date he has an assistant, which is only once a month, and schedule-wise, i really have to have surgery in may. so... no parents this time around. anyone want to take the day off and shuttle me around? :)

so here's the question. if i have surgery on may 10, and use a cadaver (still thinking about that one...), could i make it down to LA the weekend of 6/3 to 6/5 for a wedding? i'd probably have to hitch a ride off someone, huh. and either have the front seat or the entire backseat to myself. hm. i'd really like to be able to go to the wedding. and... i should be able to push pedals on a piano by 6/18, right? i sure hope so b/c i'm playing piano for another wedding then! haha.

i wish i could remember how long it took me to recover last time, using my own hamstring tendon because then i'd know at least hopefully recovery this time would be faster than that b/c i'm using a cadaver. i think i was on crutches for a good 6-8 weeks after the surgery - but then again those berkeley tang center doctors are real shady. he was a contracted doctor (so he has his own practice, but tang center contracted him since they don't have their own orthopedic doctor), but still. six years later, my left knee is still completely numb around my scars (touch my left knee and i won't feel it. no joke.) and i still can't kneel on it. you can't blame that on lack of PT on my part. that's just bad operating skills! he must have totally damaged my nerves in my knee. eesh.

mary offered to bring me a burrito. the same day i come back from my surgery. so that i can get nauseous just from the smell of it and throw up all over my clothes and myself again. and then i will be incapable of cleaning myself up since i won't be able to move. and then two friends, one of who is blind, mind you, have to clean up for me. wait, that happened last time. when drew brought me a la burrita burrito. yeah, if mary were one of the two friends last time, i doubt she'd be offering that to me this time. thanks mary.

SIGH.

i think i'm done with skiing for a while.

well, i can now say i'm like jason lau. two torn ACLs, one on each knee :( i thought something was strange - the doctor first checked out my range of motion, and then he did the ACL test on me again. I was thinking to myself, why is he doing that? he's done it twice previously, was sure i didn't tear it, and anyway he has my MRI now! when he kind of muttered "hm" in a inquisitive tone to himself, i was like uh-oh...and then when he opened his mouth and said "well, from the MRI, it appears you tore your ACL" i almost cried. sigh. yup, it was a complete tear, along with a slight tear of my meniscus and two bruised bones.

apparently my knees like to trick the doctors because when i tore my ACL the first time, the doctor also did the ACL test and did not think i tore it. this instance, i mentioned it to the doctor when i visited him the first time. i told him how last time the doctor didn't think i tore it, but it turns out i did. so the doctor did two tests a couple of times, and was like, i'm pretty sure you didn't. when i visited him the second time, two weeks after the injury, he did the tests again, and he was like, i'm pretty positive you didn't tear your ACL. and look at the results. well, at the very least, i don't think i'll have hyper-extended knees anymore. i went from having two to one, and now to none.

as much as the thought of having a dead person's body part in me is weird, i think i'm probably gonna go with the cadaver this time since recovery is faster. i'll probably have surgery mid-may (already tentatively set it may 10, but i think i need to reschedule since my parents said they'll be out of town). as much as the news bums me out, i'm actually okay about it; maybe because i already went through this once. anyway, so there's my diagnosis. not quite what i expected, but it's all good. God is good. :)

eva and eric are MARRIED!

some highlights:
- eric & eva getting married. :)
- seeing joyce in a bridesmaid dress! with makeup! and jewelry! and her hair done!
- seeing all the gals (except for the oh-so-pregnant reni)
- ev, my reception savior, who even drove back to my place to grab a CD i forgot. and she ran around the restaurant to do things for me b/c she can move faster than i can :)
- olivia's reaction to the "surprise." seriously, ev & i thought she knew what it was, but when it was announced, we heard a very loud "WHAT?!" come out of olivia's mouth.
- morris... he should have been the emcee, that would have been entertaining. i was wondering the whole night who those really loud obnoxious drunk people in the back were until someone finally told me they were morris' friends. why does the brother get a table of friends at his sister's wedding? seriously. were we that obnoxious at weddings when we were in college/younger? hm. probably. maybe not drunk, but definitely obnoxious (who can forget shirley & william's wedding? "uh... that waiter took a bite out of our cake!!")
- welcoming eric to the bear family. we almost tried to kick him out of the berkeley group photo at the ceremony :) we need to get him a cal hat.
- the mango mousse cake. YUM.
- amy caught the bouquet! well, actually, we told eva to throw it to her, but eva threw it too far. so it sailed over amy's head, and to the ground since all the other girls ducked or moved as they watched the flowers hit the floor. so i grabbed amy so that she could go get it. so i guess amy technically picked up the bouquet. but at least mike will now let her marry him (even if she didn't dive for it)!
- last, but definitely not least, seeing bob's parents boogie on the dance floor. wow, i didn't know people our parents' ages could still move like that! i'm not talking about swing dancing or social dancing. i'm talking about getting down to the likes of real mcoy and others. too bad bob didn't dance.

and now, another wedding is done. on to the next... amy & mike's!

so sad... my coworker and i had to discuss our doctor appointments to make sure we're not overlapping each other. there's only two of us who support this one segment, and we're both gimps. between me and her, we'll probably go to a doctor appointment maybe six times this week.

yesterday after i came back from my appointment, i had to park pretty far since there were no spaces available any closer. this other guy happened to arrive at the same time as me so he parked right next to me. he proceeded to get out of his car and walk toward the buildling. so i slowly limp along, needing to take breaks (how sad is that), and i see the guy, who has almost reached the buildling, turn around and walk back toward me because he apparently forgot something from his car. i continue to limp on toward my goal, and as i near the building entrance i get passed by the said guy. i got lapped! note to self: need to learn to walk faster with a gimpy knee.

i'm so proud of myself - we watched ROTK last night, from 7:30 to 11:30 and i didn't fall asleep! yes, i'm surprised myself - i like how people (people meaning andrea, ahem) ask me this morning "how was your four-hour nap last night?"

my knee is getting better - i didn't use crutches this entire weekend, although my calf and thigh are pretty sore/cramped now because they're trying to compensate for my knee when i walk on it. i'm going to the doctor in the afternoon, so we'll see what he says. all i know is sometime this morning, i must have in my sleep tried to straighten my leg completely (maybe tried to unconsciously stretch it?) and i woke up with a searing pain in my knee that hurt so bad, i felt like i wanted to chop it off. seriously, even little things like the ability to stretch your legs is a blessing. don't take it for granted.

everyone's coming back for eva's wedding! can't wait to see everyone... o's back, jean and ev come back on friday, the bride herself on wed, alice will drive down for the weekend... and we'll even get to see joyce in a bridesmaid dress ;) too bad reni can't come up (her stomach is about to burst!) but 7 our of 8 isn't bad :)

*edit* good news: doctor doesn't think i tore my ACL (which i didn't think either since my knee feels differently this time). i'll be getting an MRI on thursday. bad news: doctor thinks i tore my meniscus which will still probably require surgery. at least the recovery from a torn meniscus is easier, faster and better than recovery from ACL. knees suck. sorry jean, still don't know the status of visitng you in may :(

you know, it's very difficult to shave when you have a shower stall (no tub) and an injured leg; what an ordeal this morning. but i really wanted to wear a skirt to work - it's so nice outside! hmmmm... was that TMI for guys? hahaha.

you know, it's kind of sad how exactly six years ago, i was in almost the exact same physical state (except with my other knee). all i remember is that we were all at westminster house with lots of muffins and eric was in his song-writing phase (remember cable tv? and ode to pepsi? and hole in my head??) and he wrote a song with a line that said "in two days you'll have sur-ger-REEEE." i also faintly remember peter making up some cheesy pickup line with an english muffin and i was so appalled i took the english muffin from his hand and threw it back at him. i apparently threw the muffin so hard that it left a mark on his shirt. ahhh the good ol' days.

it's such a BEAUTIFUL day today! i can't believe the weather changed so fast - and it's supposed to be in the low 70's this entire week. awesome. welcome to norcal. now i wish my knee was healed so that i could go frolick outside, but my own house is keeping me captive due to my lack of mobility :( it's okay, sunday afternoon naps are nice too.

thanks to everyone who came to celebrate with me & maria on saturday night. good food and good company are always great :) mango with sweet sticky rice is just the icing on the cake. thanks andrea!

i need to type up an FAQ and keep it in my pocket so i don't have to explain everything to everyone over and over again. (yes, skiing accident. yes, i fell. no, i don't know what it is. no, i haven't gotten an MRI. yes, i'll see the doctor in another week. no, it was my other knee this time.) i've learned to keep it short and sweet. i'm trying to wean myself off crutches now - i can limp around, but i tried to not use them on saturday and it was too much for the entire day.

everyone tells me i'm not allowed to go skiing anymore. come on - guys, if you hurt both your knees playing basketball, would you stop playing?? doubt it. but yeah, maybe i'll take next year off. someone else's turn to plan the ski trip :)

costco grapefruits are back! YUM.

and i found out from my coworker who already had an MRI taken for his shoulder a while ago, that our insurance covers it 100% (i thought i'd have to pay 10% or something since last time when i was under my dad's insurance i had to). guess i'll go get myself an MRI now :)